- or -
In the summer of 2001 I attended my first Comic-Con. The
whole thing was so enormous, it overwhelmed me. I mean, with the booths filled
with comics and posters and action figures and such. The most important booths
were the ones filled with people, and that year the booth of much interest to
me belonged to Slave Labor Graphics. The television show Invader Zim was fresh
in my mind, and knowing creator Jhonen Vasquez was to be there (and believe
it or nuts, I was aware of Jhonen before Zim), I hoped to get a drawing from
him. Not just any drawing, however. This drawing was to have a sense of irony.
I’ll explain: The website Penguinbros is divided between Red Penguin and
Purple Penguin. Likewise, the “Almighty Tallest” characters on Invader
Zim are colored Red and Purple. The prize was in my sights.
I waited a while in line for a brief audience with Jhonen, and when the moment
came, I asked: “Could you draw me the Almighty Tallest?” His answer:
“No.”
Well, I was a little stunned by the response, but I took it in stride and asked
for a drawing of GIR
instead. That wouldn’t be the only memento I would retain from the con.
I also recorded the bizarrely uneventful - yet oddly moving footage of Jhonen
and a bagel (which, if you haven’t seen already, is on the previous page).
What part would it have to play in this tragic tale? Read on.
For a year - on and off - I brooded over the picture that
had yet to be realized. I planned a great plan that was so great that in a world
full of billions of anonymous people, that Jhonen would take some notice of
me, or at least my goal. I had jokingly decided that I would bribe Jhonen into
drawing the picture of the Almighty Tallest if he saw the Bagel video. I couldn’t
fail!
So when I got to Comic-Con 2002, I came with a cassette tape of the “Bagel
Incident”, and planned to explain my plot to Jhonen (a self defeating
gesture, but bribery really wasn’t the aim of the exercise). However,
a curious turn of events were to pass. It was Saturday, and I was hungry (it
being lunchtime), but the only food I could quickly devour was in the form of
Mrs. Fields. I knew there was a stand nearby on the second floor of the convention,
but my brother noticed that there was one right next to the escalator that we
were about to take. We made the detour and walked right up to the stand, and
began to order our cookies (I got Double Chocolate Chip). I gazed around the
room, and noticed that Jhonen (and his good friend Rikki) had just stepped on
the escalator right next to us. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the tape out of
my bag and handed it to him. The exchange went as follows:
“What is this?”
“It’s a video of you”
“Oh, I know. I’ve seen it on the internet."
Needless to say I was excited. When I waited in line later that day to see him (he was only signing on Saturday), he confirmed the statement, so then I asked that even though he was just signing, if he would take this “blank piece of paper” (I said passing him that and a $1 bill) and draw the picture anyway. He seemed embarrassed from the now failed transaction of money, but I went ahead and passed him a twenty anyway. He gave it back, but I insisted he take the one dollar bill (I allowed him to give it to the artist of his latest work, “Everything Can be Beaten”, who goes under the name of Mr. Crab Scrambly). Even though I told him I’d be getting that picture from him the next day, I sadly had to leave early. This was an irritating turn of events, but it would not slow me down. I discovered at Comic-Con that a convention would take place near my home in October, so I waited, once again brooding. Finally, the day came, and with many of my friends we set out to seek Jhonen and end and event that had taken 2 and a half years to reach its zenith. However, the line to reach Jhonen took about two hours, but by that point I was prepared for anything that might happen “then”. When my turn finally arrived, I introduced myself as the “guy who did the bagel video”, and to my relief he remembered. Then I briefly went over what had brought me to him, and asked if he would draw "The Tallest". Jhonen expressed uneasiness brought on by the fact that he had been sitting there for 5 hours drawing pictures, and for a moment all seemed to be lost, but agreed to do it and soon began to draw, pausing only briefly to chat with Brad Canby. He finished, and needless to say, I couldn't be more pleased with the results.
(Editor's note. I have a general impression that people don't understand this story. I'm not an insane fanboy who gets his kicks recording pop culture figures. Here’s the part where the story becomes unclear; I wasn't trying to record Jhonen in the first place, but rather the Carl Cthulhu action figures on SLG's table for a Comic-Con music video. Okay, that did make me sound slightly more insane. I apologize, but you have to believe me when I say the intent of the “bagel video” was all in fun, and in the end if you still think I'm stupid, well... I think you're stupid. There.)